What Does Your Soul Actually Want?

We are in a portal right now and I don't say that lightly or to sound mystical, I say it because this month genuinely feels different, like the air has shifted slightly and something is asking to be heard.

It opened on the 1st of May with a full moon in Scorpio and it closes on the 31st with a rare Blue Moon in Sagittarius, the first in nearly two years. Two full moons holding the whole month between them like cupped hands. And whether you felt that first one land or not, something has probably stirred. A restlessness, a question you keep almost asking yourself before something pulls you back to the practical, urgent, endless list of what needs doing.

That's the portal doing what portals do: illuminating what's ready to move.

What I want to explore with you this month isn't what you think you should want or what makes sense on paper or what would make the people around you exhale with relief but what your soul actually wants. What makes your heart genuinely sing. Because I think most of us, if we're really honest, have never fully allowed ourselves to go there.

The Cage We Don't Always See

When we think about what we want for our lives, our work, our relationships, we almost immediately start editing. We filter everything through what's affordable, what's realistic, what's achievable given the time, the energy or the money we have. We think we're dreaming but we're already negotiating before we've even begun.

So what if you took all of that away for a moment, the money worry, the time pressure, the fear of what others would think; what if none of that existed, even just as an experiment, even just while you read this? What would you want then? Not the sensible answer but the real one, the one that lives underneath all the noise and the shoulds and the not-yet and the who-do-you-think-you-are.

What would make your heart genuinely sing?

We're so used to asking what's possible that we've forgotten how to ask what's true. What's possible is a practical question filtered through limitation. What's true is a soul question and it doesn't care about your overdraft or your diary or the voice that says you're being unrealistic.

Let Go of What Should, Welcome What Could

I'll be honest: I'm in this portal too. I don't have a neat map of where I'm taking my work right now and for a long time that felt like failure, like I should know by now. But lately I'm starting to wonder if not knowing isn't the problem. If actually it's the most honest place I've stood in a while because it means I've stopped pretending to want things I don't really want, stopped moving just to feel like I'm moving.

And in that stillness, something quieter is starting to speak.

That's what this month feels like to me. Not a time to hustle towards goals but a time to get genuinely curious about what's underneath them. To let go of what should and welcome what could. Or even — stay with me here — to recognise what already is. Because sometimes what your soul wants isn't waiting in the future, it's already alive in you right now, already whispering, already nudging you towards certain things and away from others. You haven't lost it. You've just been too busy surviving to hear it.

What If Joy Is the Compass?

The second full moon rises on the 31st and where the first pulled us inward into honesty and depth, this one faces outward, towards expansion, towards what becomes possible when you actually trust yourself.

What if joy isn't the reward at the end of the journey but the compass you follow to get there? What if instead of working backwards from what's realistic, you started from what lights you up, what feels alive, what makes time disappear and trusted that moving towards that, even imperfectly, is how everything else begins to unfold?

I've seen this in the breathwork I do with people. Someone arrives with an answer ready, polished, safe, sensible and then something opens, the layers soften and something quieter rises up, more honest, more true. The real answer was always there, it just needed space.

That's what this portal is offering: a whole month of space, held between two moons, asking you to get honest about what you're actually here to create.

Some Questions to Breathe With

Not to answer in your head but to feel into, slowly, honestly, before your mind jumps in with the sensible version.

If time and money and fear were simply not part of the equation, what would you be doing, creating, feeling, becoming?

What makes your heart genuinely sing? Not performed happiness, not looks-good-from-the-outside but actually sing?

And what if that thing, that version of you, is not as far away as you think?

The portal closes on the 31st. Not to pressure you, just to say, this is a moment worth using.

If something here has landed and you want to explore it somewhere a little deeper, I work with people in one-to-one sessions and group workshops throughout the year. Come and have a look at what's on, something might just call to you.

With Love and Light, 

Stefanie

Founder of The Oya Energy
www.theoyaenergy.co.uk