Whose Energy Are You Running On?

April is here. The light is back, nature is moving and everything around us seems to be saying go. But before you do, I want to ask you something worth sitting with.

Whose energy are you actually running on?

And I do not mean caffeine versus green juice. I mean something a little deeper than that.

It Is Not Really About the Coffee

Most of us know our own habits. The second coffee before a difficult meeting, the scroll through the phone when something feels too heavy, the relentless busyness that leaves no room for stillness. We reach for these things without thinking and mostly they work, at least enough to keep us moving.

But they are not the root, they are the coping mechanism for something older.

Because underneath the caffeine and the momentum and the need to stay productive, many of us are quietly running on the energy of a much earlier version of ourselves. The child who learned that being useful meant being loved. The teenager who decided they were too much, or not enough, and adjusted accordingly. The young adult who swallowed something, kept going and told themselves they were fine. Last week's version of you that was criticised, dismissed or simply not seen, and quietly absorbed it.

We adapt. We find ways to keep functioning. We build capable, presentable, high-achieving versions of ourselves on top of those earlier experiences and then we wonder why we are so tired.

The Body Kept the Score

The mind is good at moving on. It reframes, rationalises and files things away, but the body does not forget. It holds everything that was never fully felt or expressed, quietly, patiently, in the chest, the breath, the gut, the shoulders.

That tightness before a difficult conversation your mind insists you are fine about. The exhaustion that sleep does not touch. The breath that stays shallow without you ever choosing it. These are not random. They are the body showing you what it is still carrying, often on behalf of someone much younger than you are now.

This is what I find so extraordinary about Transformational Breath®. The breath does not negotiate with the story the mind has built. It moves directly into the body and reaches what logic cannot, bringing to the surface what has been waiting there, sometimes for decades, without needing you to explain or understand it first.

An Invitation

I am not going to give you a structured practice this month, more an honest question to carry with you.

When you notice yourself reaching for something, the coffee, the busyness, the need for reassurance, just pause for a moment and get curious. Not critical, simply curious. Ask yourself: what am I actually feeling underneath this? And then: how old does this feeling feel?

You do not need to answer it. You do not need to trace it back or fix it or understand it fully. Sometimes simply noticing that the feeling belongs to an earlier version of you is enough to create a little space between you and that version.

Sit quietly for a few minutes when you can. Place a hand on your chest or your belly, whichever feels natural, and breathe without changing anything. Just notice where the breath is, how it feels, what it carries. Let whatever is there simply be there, without needing to name it or release it on cue.

The body will show you what it is ready to show you, in its own time.

Coming Home to Yourself

You have spent a long time running on borrowed energy, on coping strategies and adapted versions of yourself built for circumstances that may no longer exist. It makes sense. It kept you going.

But your own energy, the calm, grounded, self-sourced kind, is still there beneath all of it. It has not gone anywhere. The breath is always the way back to it, not as a quick fix, but as a quiet, honest return.

That is what April is for.

With Love and Light, 

Stefanie

Founder of The Oya Energy
www.theoyaenergy.co.uk